Thursday, August 11, 2005

Speaking of Carny's...


Honestly I meant to drop the subject of carny's. really I did. I felt that I gave an concise if slightly dishonest appraisal of Delaware's citizenry and their habits.

Enter FUNLAND

Funland, for those of you not in the proverbial "know" is a boardwalk hall of amusements in Rehobeth beach Delaware, with rides and Skeeball and such. I came across it last night with my girlfriend and some of her friends who were experts at the sort of fun which Funland routinely discharges. This being my first experience of fun I was led patiently around funland by the beautiful Brenna and we started things off with the terrifying and spooky Haunted Mansion. Now legend has it that the Haunted Mansion actually predates the creation of Funland by nearly a century when it was built upon an old Indian burial ground which was itself ironically built upon a gaping hole strait into the firery depthes of hell itself. Perhaps the most frightening thing about this horrible mansion was the fact that in it Dr. Jeckyll, Count Dracula, and the Wolfman himself has decided to live together in some sort of situation which is only legal in Delaware and Hawaii.

Having barely survived this harrowing experience Brenna decided that I would be best served by shitting my panties on this horrible ride they have called the Sea Dragon, Now I will state here and now that I do not like heights, and by do not like I actually mean that they make me cry. Brenna did not know this and when I told her repeatedly she thought I was joking, so we got on this dragon of the sea (actually an old viking ship which washed ashore in Delaware several hundred years ago) and I was led the the second scariest seat available by my loving girlfriend. THere is no way I can accurately describe the terror I felt as we hurtled back and forth presumeably to our DOOM, let it only be said that there are now pictures of me crying like a bitch on Brenna's camera, if anyone actually reads this and asks for them they will be provided.

Next was the bumper cars wherein I had my sweet vengence upon the fair lady and she yelled at a four year old for driving like a small child, funny that.

Then my girlfriend won me a stuffed animal at a game of skill because we roll like that and I throw everything in a very girlish manner.

Finally since my earlier sobbing was apearantly not convincing enough, I was again led by the hand to a hellish contraption called the Parachute Ride, this device resembling a ferris whell but fast and scary. Once again I spent most of the ride crying with my eyes closed in Brenna's ample bosom, that is until the carny who was operating the ride started laughing and pointing at me to which I replied "screw you carny" (Brenna would point out that I replied thusly from a distance and not particularly loudly, I would retort that you dont insult the carny until the ride stops".

The end.

-Rob

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